Hello

I set this blog up because I've heard too many people tell me about the features they wrote for Mark's narrative writing class and thought "holy shit, I wanna read that!" Feel free to put up anything you want on here... Features, opinion pieces,ideas that you pitched that didn't make the Times, Times stuff that you think we should all read again, stuff you've done for things other than school, links to funny shit, short stories, poetry, diary entries, paranoid ramblings, racist propaganda, direct personal attacks on other people; I don't care. I just wanna read your writing. This is your chance to show people the stuff that you keep saved on your computer because your proud of it, but has never seen the light of day. Don't be shy.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea-- by Jordan

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea: Xenophobia, Chicken Coops, and America: The New Rome


The following is a paid advertisement for tasers, beards, bullshit and boredom :) Enjoy.

"When the hunter becomes the hunted, they outlaw hunting." - Sage Francis

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

That is where those who are opposing the building of a mosque near the sight of the 9/11 attacks have found themselves. They are essentially damned if they do, and damned if they don’t. The massive attention that the media has given to the outcries of xenophobic rage masked as a patriotic respect for the dead has thrown an uncomfortable spotlight on the argument, and essentially if the naysayers back down now they will have lost face on a national scale. Through their own misguided justifications they have impaled themselves on the horns of a dilemma.

The argument that because the 9/11 attackers were Muslim justifies the refusal to allow a mosque to be built near ground zero is a political red herring, designed to divert attention from the blatant attempt at circumvention of the constitution, which guarantees freedom of religion.

The constitution also guarantees freedom of speech; therefore the opposition are more than within their rights to express their opinions, whether they are based in fact or not. But freedom of speech has its price; the media has seen to that. The fact remains that the vast majority of those opposed to this site are the members of the Christian right, who seem to overlook the fact that terrorist actions can be perpetrated by members of any religion.

Timothy MacVeigh was one such Christian, but there are no protests to the building of new churches in Oklahoma.

Unfortunately, this is typical of a country that declared upon its inception that all men are created equal, and continued employing slave labour, marginalizing women, homosexuals, immigrants, the poor and the working class for centuries. America is a country that was built, with the best of intentions, upon a series on a series of unfortunate contradictions.

Each one could warrant a piece roughly ten times as long as this one, but just to name a few: Your huddled masses? Send em’ in as long as they can do the jobs Americans don’t want and are content with second-class citizenship. Which most of them are.

The pledge of allegiance states explicitly that you are indebted to ‘one nation under god.’ Well, so much for separation of church and state.

The right to bear arms is touted with the same ideological fervour as the outcries against violence in America; the protesters polish their rifles while placing the blame on anyone but themselves.

9/11 was a tragedy of epic proportions, one which will continue to affect the world at large for many years to come. Those who lost their lives, as well as those who gave them trying to help, deserve to be remembered and their sacrifice mourned. But to use their deaths as a catalyst to exploit the fears of an entire nation, as they have been used for nearly ten years, is completely despicable and only serves to bring to light the ugly side of America’s self-serving idealism.

Throughout its’ history America has engaged in countless conflicts and coups under the guise of spreading democracy and bringing freedom to the oppressed. However, anyone with knowledge of historical fact is well aware that almost all American military action has been designed specifically to protect their own interests. Vietnam, Cuba, Cambodia, Laos, Nicaragua, Argentina, Iran, Israel & Palestine...the list goes on.

And these are only the ones we know about.

I don't want to come across as a conspiracy theorist; but when a government acts covertly, unilaterally and agressively in a distrubing pattern of actions designed to create a one-super-powered world, wherein the US holds all the cards, a lot of what really goes on and why will never be 100% viable, as told by the government or the media. 

This lack of trust in the facts as presented has created a polarizing effect on the population that has radicalized most citizens into either apathy or dissent. Those who take everything at face value and tow the official line, as it were, are not necesarilly stupid, it is more likely they do not want to contemplate the implications of government deception at the highest levels. Ignorance can truly be bliss. 

When the ramifications of this military, political and social meddling come back to bite America in the ass, the government reverts back to playing the victim. The average Joe, who has no comprehension of the scope of his own government's actions, is left holding the proverbial bag, caught red-handed for a crime of which he has no knowledge. Ever since the Twin Towers fell, one question has been posed time and time again, like a confused mantra: 

"Why do they hate us?"

Thus begins the cycle of 'us' and 'them'. America is under attack, from an unseen enemy that threatens not just the country but its very way of life. And so the US defends their retaliation with a twisted logic that denies the very actions which bring about terrorist actions such as 9/11 in the first place.

When their chickens come home to roost, America burns down the fucking hen-house. 

Anyone with half a brain can tell you that the “War On Terror” was never a viable option, because you cannot kill an idea. And despite whatever progress has been made in Iraq and Afghanistan, the underlying religious rhetoric that supposedly fuelled the actions of the 9/11 terrorists, prevails to this day.

Americans decry the cowardly and barbaric actions of extremists of every faith. Yet, is it civilized or rational for a government to lie to its own people, to fight wars for personal and political gain while sacrificing the lives of innocents for reasons they can’t even justify with honest facts?

The fact is, after 9/11, most Americans wanted one thing...vengeance (ironically, if you subscribe to the official story, that's what the 9/11 attackers wanted too). Of course, the Republicans were more than willing to give it to them, because, one very important facet of neo-conservatism is the presence of an ‘invisible enemy’, a phantom menace which can be used as a tool to simultaneously focus and engage an entire population against a common enemy, a scapegoat for an endless cycle of conflict.

The confusion and fear this creates allows those in power to pursue their own agendas, in ways they would never be allowed to otherwise. This tactic is not a new one; in fact it is shockingly familiar to anyone with knowledge of history. Nazi Germany, The Cold War...the events, the people, the places and the consequences may change, but the motive remains constant throughout history.

Power, the power that comes from fear, obedience and most of all, money. And while the U.S. strives for that power by force in the mask of democracy and freedom around the world, the debate seems to be largely ignored in their domestic political dialogue. The power America once had, has been stretched too thin and is collapsing, just as Rome did, from the inside. Is that a fiddle I hear playing?

Their economy is collapsing as a result of unnecessary military action; foolhardy deficits incurred to create the illusion of financial security as well as a permeating culture of unregulated greed and institutionalized corruption in the financial sector. Meanwhile, their schools are falling further and further behind every year. They are still one of the only countries in the developped world without free health care, just one unfortunate consequence of the increasing partisanship and corporate influence that is strangling their policy-makers. Their infrastructure is crumbling and their media has turned into a circus, blurring the lines between reality and fiction, information and entertainment, all for the sake of shock value and ratings. The average American is overworked, underpaid and swimming in a sea of bills and debts with no relief in sight, while the perpetrators of this fiasco are handed cash like party favours and sent on their way.

And yet they are worried about a mosque...

In the words of John Lennon, “Let it be.”

Because America has got much bigger fish to fry, and frankly they are starting to smell pretty ripe.

So why should we care? What difference do the actions of the American government make in our lives? We are still living our day to day lives, content in watching the side-show that American politics has become from afar, while most of us (myself included) display, to varying degrees, the same ignorance we decry regarding the actions of our own government.  

Besides the obvious implications to the global economy (and Canadian economy in particular), all civilized nations, and every person in them, need to recognize the ramifications of America’s descent into madness; in order to be responsible and informed citizens of our own country and to ensure that we do not let ourselves make the same mistakes. Otherwise we will be just as complicit in the downfall of the ideals America was built upon.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; these are not talking points. They are remnants of a time when freedom was not taken for granted, when a few brave men stood together and declared that they would not be subjugated to the whims of a tyrant, of a time when revolution; truly was a viable reality.

As Bob Dylan once sang in another era of hatred and repression, the times they are a changin'. Let’s make damn sure this time, they change for good. 

Monday, September 27, 2010

Rob's emotion story

Read it and weep. Weep tears of fear of being trapped and weep tears of joy. You'll understand. just read it...

http://morningedition.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/darkness/

The column I'm not supposed to write

Since the editors of the paper wouldn't take my column pitch, here it is. And even better, I don't have to tone it down like I thought I would.


Odour blocking action, twice the cleaning power, new disposable swivle head, blah blah blah blah. I'm sick and tired of hearing companies heave a massive steaming pile on me every time i turn on the tv or tune in to the radio. they all hype their product up as a "revolution in ____ technology" when really, all they're doing is pissing away their money into cheap gimmicks to get us to buy more. On behalf of the human race, I refuse to take any more. I'm not too worried about the fear mongering and encouragement of moral and environmental degradation brought into our sick, materialistic society... i'm just sick of hearing about your "latest home fragrance breakthrough."

Toothbrush companies seem to have the mouth runoff down pat. It seems like they're always coming up with some sort of new "spinning pulse head" that "gives you the dentist clean feeling every day". Spinning pulse head? Are you sure this isn't supposed to go somewhere other than your mouth? And who wants the dentist clean feeling every day? Does anyone actually enjoy going to the dentist? "Oh yes, now my gums can be sore and my mouth can taste like rubber and synthetic 'bubblegum' 3 times a day! How did i ever live without this?" News flash, the only reason i brush my teeth 4 times a day is so i don't have to go to the dentist. Why would i ever want to feel that pain multiple times a day?

The home pregnancy test industry is also pretty bad for this verbal diharrhea. "Our test calculates tempuratures and works with your cycle to predict accurate results 4 days before the ___ period". Okay, cool, is she pregnant or not? Take it from me, when one is involved in such a situation, one isn't really concerned about "thermal body temperatures" or the "dawning of the age of ovarius"; the only thing one wants to know is; blue or red? And have you seen the home pregnancy test that smiles at you when you're pregnant? What kind of sick freak designed that shit? You may call it a "breakthrough in home pregnancy", I call it "adding insult to injury."

Another thing that bothers me is these products that change colour or make noise to tell you something that anyone capable of rational thought could easily figure out for themselves. Like the razor that turns from blue to white when it "may be time to change your blade for a closer shave". Are you insinuating that the handsome, rugged man in your commercial has the ability to obtain his neurosurgery degree, score the winning goal for his beer-league championship, make enough bank to afford a wicked mansion, and bag the hot supermodel of a wife you and i couldn't even talk to, but doesn't posses the ability to tell when his razor isn't doing a good job shaving his face? If you can't tell when your razor has shat out on you, it might be time to switch to an electric... I don't think we can trust you with sharp stuff so close to your jugular.

The worst is the beer company (who shall remain nameless) with the label that turns blue when your beer is "cold certified." Now with an extra strip to "let you know when your beer is as cold as the Rockies". Have you ever been to the Rockies? I have, it's pretty fucking cold. If your beer got as cold as the Rockies, you'd probably be scraping it off your pizza pockets while cursing your idiot roommate for leaving the can in the freezer too long.

The whole idea of letting me know if my beer is cold enough is useless anyways. See, I have this "latest breakthrough in limb technology", we call it the hand. I just put my "hand" up to any beer (or anything else i may need to check for suitable tempurature) and the sensors in my brain tell me if my beer is "cold certified". And if it's not, i just look for a colder one. Or buck up and drink it anyways. And when your beer doesn't make me as attractive to the ladies as the commercials would have me believe...

I'll just let you piece that one together yourself.

Lydia's Emotion story

So I can't figure out how to add contributing writers (someone help please?). But in the meantime here's a wicked awesome piece of writing from Lydia.


The faces around me were sunken, some suffering with lack of sleep, all holding back tears. No one ever knew what to say except “I’m so sorry.”
I had gone up to the coffin several times over the course of the morning, so the shock was wearing off. Out of the room filled with a mix of children, elderly and thirty-something mourners, I was by far the strongest willed.
A twenty-nine year-old father of two broke down on my shoulder, while other men of the same age took steps back from the scene. They were unsure of how to handle it. They were unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry,” was all that came to mind.
They were sorry they were here, they were sorry they had not been around. They were sorry they didn’t know how he had been doing. They were sorry we were so young. Most were sorry that they did not know what to say. Everyone was sorry for my loss.
As I walked another broken man up between aisles of people too young to weep so loudly, I grew steeled. I realized then that I had not cried once, not once since my mother called to say they had found him dead. I had not been shaken when I made the obligatory phone calls to let friends know that he had passed away. I had been more concerned for others, and ready to comfort those that I saw in the days leading up to the funeral.
Looking over to his mother, whose tears had dried overnight, I saw her quietly consoling someone as I was doing now. She had been the first to greet me in the mid-morning as the dark stained doors of the funeral home. We had walked up the aisle past reams of donated flowers, ribbons and ferns, to view the casket. All the while, she chatted like only a mother could about what a good job they had done on his makeup and how he had gained weight in jail and how she was glad he had died at home.
Still, as I had been doing, she was walking the young or the nervous visitors up to the coffin to see her son. You could tell who was too scared to see him by the way they stole glances toward the back of the room and searched the faces of those walking back toward the door. As if they could catch a reflection left over in eyes that had viewed the dead body, they looked cheated when they could not find it. They stole a glance back at the coffin, at the floor, at their hands… anywhere they could contemplate their grief, and then; they looked at me.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Sooo.

I decided to post links to my own shitty writing to make you feel better about your own and hopefully convince you to contribute to my pipe dream

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6586093-more-random-poetry-yhey

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6236141-that-skeleton-in-my-closet-pt-3

Ya, so have fun with that. And maybe post your own stuff?